RJay ~ Conservative American Page 2: Jay Leno to Dems:

Surrender is NOT an option

"IF YOU DON'T STAND BEHIND OUR TROOPS,
PLEASE, FEEL FREE TO STAND IN FRONT OF THEM!"
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How many Democrats does it take to screw in a light bulb?
They'd rather ban the light bulb and stay in the dark.

Accidental Discoveries

Sunday, April 22, 2007

Jay Leno to Dems:

How Will You 'Stand Up to Terrorists When You're Afraid of Fox News?'

On the April 10 "Tonight Show," host Jay Leno joked about Democrats boycotting the Fox News Channel/Congressional Black Caucus Institute debate. Wondered Leno, "How are you going to stand up to terrorists when you're afraid of Fox News?"

Maybe Jay should ask Time magazine's Joe Klein, who called the Fox News debate a "sordid event" that was a clever ploy to "pander" to a Democratic interest group.

Here's the setup and punchline:

Jay Leno: Well, Hillary Clinton, Barack Obama, and John Edwards as well as a number of other Democratic candidates say they will not participate in a presidential debate next month because the debate is on Fox News and Fox News is biased. Well, how are you going to stand up to terrorists when you're afraid of Fox News? [audience laughter] http://newsbusters.org/

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18 WAYS TO BE A GOOD LIBERAL

You have to be against capital punishment, but support abortion on demand.
You have to believe that businesses create oppression and governments create prosperity.
You have to believe that guns in the hands of law-abiding citizens are more of a threat than U.S. nuclear weapons technology in the hands of Iran or Chinese and North Korean communists.
You have to believe that there was no art before federal funding.
You have to believe that global temperatures are less affected by cyclical changes in the earth's climate and more affected by soccer moms driving SUV's.
You have to believe that gender roles are artificial, but being homosexual is natural.
You have to believe that the AIDS virus is spread by a lack of federal funding.
You have to believe that the same teacher who can't teach 4th-graders how to read is somehow qualified to teach those same kids about sex.
You have to believe that hunters don't care about nature, but PETA activists do.
You have to believe that self-esteem is more important than actually doing something to earn it.
You have to believe that Mel Gibson spent $25 million of his own money to make "The Passion of the Christ" for financial gain only.
You have to believe the NRA is bad because it supports certain parts of the Constitution, while the ACLU is good because it supports certain parts of the Constitution.
You have to believe that taxes are too low, but ATM fees are too high.
You have to believe that Margaret Sanger and Gloria Steinem are more important to American history than Thomas Jefferson, Gen. Robert E. Lee, and Thomas Edison.
You have to believe that standardized tests are racist, but racial quotas and set-asides are not.
You have to believe that the only reason socialism hasn't worked anywhere it's been tried is because the right people haven't been in charge.
You have to believe that homosexual parades displaying drag queens and transvestites should be constitutionally protected, and manger scenes at Christmas should be illegal.
You have to believe that this message is a part of a vast, right-wing conspiracy.

GOD BLESS AMERICA!
Oops, can't do that either.

Dallas Air Traffic Control
Dallas ATC: "Tower to Saudi Air 911--You are cleared to land Eastbound on runway 9R."
Saudi Air: "Thank you Dallas ATC. Acknowledge cleared to land on infidel's runway 9R
Allah be Praised !!"
Dallas ATC: "Tower to Iran Air 711--You are cleared to land Westbound on runway 9R."
Iran Air: "Thank you Dallas ATC. We are cleared to land on infidel's runway 9R.- -Allah is Great !!"
Pause: Static............
Saudi Air: " DALLAS ATC ! DALLAS ATC !!! "
Dallas ATC: "Go ahead, Saudi Air 911?"
Saudi Air: "YOU HAVE CLEARED BOTH OUR AIRCRAFT FOR THE SAME RUNWAY GOING IN OPPOSITE DIRECTIONS !!! WE ARE ON A COLLISION COURSE !!! INSTRUCTIONS PLEASE!!!
Dallas ATC: "Well bless your hearts. Y'all be careful now and tell Allah 'hey' for us -- ya hear?

RJay ~ Conservative American Page 2

Sunday, April 22, 2007

Jay Leno to Dems:

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